Divine By Mistake (Partholon #1)

Ah, the Wonderful World of Camping - may it rot in hell.

Don't fuck with an English major. They keep lots of useless crap trapped in their heads. Once in a while they let some of it out and it bites you square on the ass.

Hell couldn't be all bad if it had jewelry.

How the hell could Rhiannon keep people loyal to her if she was such a bitch?”
Alanna gave me a knowing look.
“I mean female people. It’s obvious how she kept her men happy.” My hands were planted on my
hips and I was tapping my foot in time with my anger. (I looked very teacherish—as a matter of fact, I felt the sudden desire to reprimand a teenager. But there’s never one around when you need one.)

I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest, wishing sincerely that Rhiannon would get hit by a bus.

I felt like I was hobbling, like one oof the old crones from Act I of Macbeth - God knows my hair felt scraggy enough that I must have looked the part.

In my ten years of teaching I’ve noticed that teachers tend to have a bad habit of talking to themselves. I hypothesize that this is because we talk for a living, and we feel safe speaking our feelings aloud. Or it could be that most of us, especially the high school teacher variety, are just weird as shit.

I prefer my water in wine form.

it's hard to march purposefully, or in any other way, when your thighs are screaming like Richard Simmons in a candy store- good God, stop the madness.

I've married a friggin horse. And he bites.

I waited for my thighs and butt to uncramp. Of course, they didn't know the loosening rule. They were screaming things like *Are you crazy? Do you know we're thirty-five years old? Sit down and feed us a Twinkie!

Maybe she was drunk - the woman never could drink. One little sniff of tequila and she was off into some blonde la-la land.

Morning people use up their perky too early and end up being just plain grumpy.

No sabía qué pensar de aquel hombre caballo con quien debía permanecer casada durante un año. Era obvio que me interesaba. Después de todo, no había conocido nunca a nadie como él. Admitamos que no hay muchos centauros corriendo por Oklahoma, al menos por Tulsa. Una no podía saber lo que pasaba en el interior del Estado.

P.C. Cast, En el lugar de la diosa

The ability to accessorize is what elevates us from lower-life forms," I said in my lecture voice, choosing a pair of diamond-studded drops for my ear. "Like men.

The Fomorians skittered backward, away from me, looking justifiably confused. I mean, really, how many human women actually run to them? And I was a human woman covered in swamp yuck, with wild red hair sticking out in matted hunks and arms flailing like a demented Bride of Frankenstein. I'd run from me.