Dream Warrior (Dark-Hunterverse #17)

Any time you need an expert parental hand- (Zarek)
I’ll find Jericho. (Astrid)
Um, could you at least wait until that thing’s housebroken? (Jericho)

Are you always this random? (Jericho)
Mostly. It really irritates Noir. Which is just an added bonus for me. At least so long as I can outrun him. (Asmodeus)
Add me to that list of people you annoy. (Jericho)
Oh. You’re not going to singe my testicles over it, are you?! (Asmodeus)
No plans to. (Jericho)
Good. We can be friends, then. (Asmodeus)

As the great poet wrote, ‘To thine own self be true.’…What? You don’t think a Skotos can be literate? I happen to love Shakespeare. Hamlet is one of my faves. (Zeth)
I’m not touching that one with tongs and a gas mask. (Jericho)

Believe me, I know and I almost made the same mistake you did. Evil is seductive. It’s what makes the two of them so dangerous. (Jericho)
No. It’s our willingness to believe their lies and to see what we want to see that makes it so dangerous. Even when we know better, we lie to ourselves and that’s where the true betrayal is. (Jared)

For the record, kid, Summoning a demon to kidnap her, not the best way to meet a woman. It usually backfires on you.

Here we are. Maybe I should warn you before we enter...(Asmodeus)
(Jericho stepped past him and threw open the door.)
Or maybe not. Let’s just barge in and be surprised, shall we? (Asmodeus)

I can’t believe I was ever stupid enough to trust Noir. Come to the dark side. We have cookies. (Zeth)

I don’t feel brave, especially not right now. (Delphine)
That’s what bravery is, especially for a woman not used to having emotions. When you feel deep, paralyzing fear and you don’t let it stop you, that is true courage. There’s never been bravery without fear. Just as there’s no love without hate. (M'Adoc)

I, for one, am exhausted. I’ve been threatened, beaten, bitten and killed, and that was just in the last hour. (Jericho)

If you or one of the blind fools who follows you honestly believe you can...bring it on. I'm in the mood for Slaughter. Killing and Murder, too.

~ Jericho a.k.a. Cratus

If you really love her, Cratus, let her know it every day. And always put her before you and your wants just as you’ve done here today. Take it from someone who knows. Love lost is the hardest burden to shoulder, and it’s one you can never get under. (Artemis)

In the land of badass, you’ve just been trumped. If Dark-Hunters had inmates, these would be they. Known as the Dogs of War because that’s what they thrive on, they’re cold-blooded and intolerant. Congratulations, bud, these are your new protectors. (Acheron)

I want my fluff-fluff! (Bob)
Fluff-fluff… (Zarek looked panicked.) (Zarek)

Look what you did. (Jericho snapped at Zarek.) I broke it. (Jericho)

May the gods have mercy on whoever pisses them off, because Zarek and Jericho will have none for them. (Madoc)
You’d better be glad I’m flattered by that. Otherwise I’d gut you. (Zarek)
Ditto. (Jericho)

Menoeceus is a great name. (Astrid)
For an old man or a feminine hygiene product. Not for my son. And next time I get to name the kid and it won’t be something that sounds like meningitis. (Zarek)
You keep that up and next time you’ll be the one birthing it, and don’t mess with me, bucko, I have connections in that department. A pregnant man is not an impossibility in my neighborhood. (Astrid)

Menoeceus wants his father. (Astrid)
Bob is crying because he wants his mother to stop calling him that crap-ass name. It’s all right, Bob. Daddy’s got you now. I’m saving you from Mommy’s bad naming taste. I’d be crying, too, if my mom named me after an idiot. (Zarek)

Nick glowered at Ash. "Are we through now, Dad? Can I go play with my friends if I promise to be a good boy? I'll even try and make it home by curfew."

Ash laughed evilly. "Oh, absolutely, son. In fact, here come your new playmates now.

Nick - Psycho-ass? You're bringing psycho-ass back?
Zarek - That's Mister Psycho-ass to you, punk.

Oh, gah, I’ve been slimed. (Jericho)
It’s not slime. It’s a baby kiss. (Delphine)
It's slime. (Zarek)

So if the punks come here, they’re going to dance with the devil and get the short end of the horn. (Zarek)
No one better than my Zarek to rip someone’s head off. You two should get along famously. (Astrid)

Take this. (Jericho)
(He slid the ring off his finger and handed it to him.)
I’m not about to marry your ugly ass, boy. No offense, but you ain’t my type. I like my dates with less body hair…and with female parts attached by nature. (Asmodeus)

Technical advisor. Since you know our enemies so well, we’re going to pick your brain. (Jericho)
I’ll tell you what you want to know. There's no need to torture me for it. (Asmodeus)
Pick your brain is an idiomatic expression, Asmodeus. It means we’ll have you tell us things. We’re not actually going in there to mess with your head. (Delphine)
Oh, thank the Source. I can’t stand it when someone opens my skull. It really hurts. (Asmodeus)

That’s why I have Jericho, Jared, and Zarek. (Acheron)
Psycho-ass? You’re bringing Psycho-ass back? (Nick)
That’s Mister Psycho-ass to you, punk. (Zarek)

This is the Malachai? (Jericho)
In all his pain in the ass glory. (Acheron)
Are we through now, Dad? Can I go play with my friends if I promise to be a good boy? I’ll even try and make it home by curfew. (Nick)

What are you? Stupid? Of course they have a guard. What part of ‘You’re a prisoner’ did you miss? (Delphine)

Why would you do that? (Delphine)
Why do you think? (Jericho)
Because I’m a bossy hag and you’d rather be enslaved to a man you hate than deal with me. (Delphine)
You know…you’re not funny. (Jericho)
I think I’m hysterical. (Delphine)

Yeah, well, I’ll be glad to birth it if it means I can name him something normal. (Zarek)
Yeah, yeah. This from a man who whines like a two-year-old when he stubs his toe. I’d like to see you survive ten hours of childbirth. (Astrid)

You'd be surprised how many people in the modern age no longer fear zombies as much as teletubies.

You must have had such a great childhood with a man like that for your father. (Delphine)
Yeah. All puppy dogs and rainbows and those weird furry people with padded coat hangers on their heads that look like space aliens on acid. (Jericho)
You mean the Teletubbies? (Berith)
The fact that you know what they're called, Berith, truly scares me. (Jericho)
As a demon of torture, it behooves me to know all things that are deeply annoying. You'd be amazed how many people in the modern age no longer fear zombies as much as Teletubbies. (Berith)
Not really. I'd rather battle a brain-eating zombie any day than hear them sing. (Jericho)