The Single Undead Moms Club (Half-Moon Hollow #4)

And while the Council generally tolerates murder, it finds murder for hire distasteful.

Confrontations with other parents are going to happen—at your child’s school, at the ball field, at the mall. The important thing to remember is that thanks to the prevalence of security cameras and smartphones, you’re probably being recorded. So footage of your retribution will be held against you in a court of law.

Danny was a matador. Other cast members included a chubby Italian chef, a mime, and, for some reason, a mummy. I found that offensive on behalf of living Egyptian people, but I also knew that Parker McHune’s mother couldn’t sew, so wrapping her son in Ace bandages was the best she could do.

Finn was an enigma wrapped in a riddle coated in misdirection. He was a burrito of dishonesty.

He likes me!” Finn exclaimed, sounding downright giddy. “You brought him a rare LEGO. You could burn down our house, and he would still look at you all googly-eyed.” “Don’t ruin this moment for me,” he said, shushing me.

I don’t think beer is the answer,” I told him, dropping two Tylenols into his palm for his five A.M. dose. “It’s the answer if the question is ‘What’s cold and delicious and makes ya forget that ya feel like your head’s about to explode?

If you have your choice about how to be turned into a vampire, I strongly suggest that you do not post an ad on the supernatural version of Craigslist offering cash to any creature of the night willing to bite you.

I’m not adorable,” Wade protested. “I am manly and grizzled and have no emotions. None.

It’s always a pleasure to see you,” I told him, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Remember, red lights are for quitters.

It took me a second to figure out how to read Wade’s neat handwriting backward, but I eventually read, “I had sex in a death barn, and all I got was this temporary tattoo.

toe. He was even wearing a ski mask with strange meshlike coverings over the eyes. We didn’t get a lot of ninjas in Half-Moon Hollow. And I’m pretty sure Jed would have responded. So I wasn’t quite sure how to react here. Was this some sort of test from Jane to determine whether I would survive a parking-lot attack? Couldn’t I just roll around in a gym with a practice dummy or something? The figure cocked his head to the side, staring at me like some predatory creature considering his best approach. I dropped my bag and kicked out of my sandals. I could do this. Sure, I had no fighting experience, but I had superstrength and speed on my side. Then again maybe this guy did, too. He could be a ninja chupacabra for all I knew. But

You should be just as respectful to authority figures and public servants, even if you can now drain them dry. Because your kids are watching you. Also, because it’s still illegal to drain authority figures and public servants dry.