What I Thought Was True

All the things that stay the same... and everything that's changed.

Blood may be thicker than chlorine, but hormones seem to scramble the equation.

Dressed-up Cass is like a creature from another planet. One I want to colonize.

God, I wish, for the millionth time, that I could be like her and Nic, so sure of what they have, what they want. That I didn't always feel jangly, restless, primed to jump off a bridge and let the current carry me away.

I finally get that sometimes we hold on to something - a person, a resentment, a regret, an idea of who we are - because we don't know what to reach for next. That what we've done before is what we have to do again. That there are only re-dos and no do-overs. And maybe ... maybe I know better than that.

I finally get that sometimes we hold on to something - a person,a resentment, a regret, an idea of who we are - because we don't know what to reach for next. That what we've done before is what we have to do again. That there are only re-dos and no do-overs. And maybe ... maybe I know better than that.

If there were an Olympics for kidding yourself, I’d take home the gold.

If what I want is a little less big, less noble than what he wants... does that make me the loser?

instead of what a betrayal it is to be lied to, how rare and wonderful it is when two human beings can tell each other the truth.

I remember Mrs. Ellington watching that separation of sea and sky during our interview, Nic, Viv, and I doing the same last night, and for the first time I realize that none of us are seeing the same thing. That all our horizons end in different places.

I remember...watching that separation of sea and sky...and for the first time I realize that none of us are seeing the same thing. That all our horizons end in different places.

Is it? All I know is that I can’t seem to stop—this—or slow it down. Or remember exactly why that’s what I want.

It feels like forever since I've been "here" without being "there" and "there too" and "what about there.

I've loved that girl all my life...And I'm more bummed about not getting the captain spot. Want to tell me what that means?' That what you've always had doesn't mean that's what you'll always get. That what you've always wanted isn't what you'll always want. I don't realize I've spoken out loud until Nic says, 'Yeah. Exactly, cuz.

...I would so much rather be with someone who cared about what he was doing than someone who knew what he was doing.

...looks out over the water, the ocean that changes and never changes. Horizons that seem like endings but only bend farther into the sky, curving into something new, beginning all over again.

Maybe I stop talking because I don’t
know what to say. Or maybe I stop because I finally get that
sometimes we hold on to something—a person, a resentment,
a regret, an idea of who we are—because we don’t know what
to reach for next. That what we’ve done before is what we have to do again. That there are only re-dos and no do-overs. And
maybe . . . maybe I know better than that.

Maybe I stop talking because I don't know what to say. Or maybe I stop because I finally get that sometimes we hold on to something - a person, a resentment, a regret, an idea of who we are - because we don't know what to reach for next. That what we've done before is what we have to do again. That there are only re-dos and no do-overs. And maybe...maybe I know better than that.

Maybe I stop talking because I don't know what to say. Or maybe I stop because I finally get that sometimes we hold on to something--a person, a resentment, a regret, an idea of who we are--because we don't know what to reach for next. That what we've done before is what we have to do again. That there are only re-dos and no do-overs. And maybe...maybe I know better than that.

Maybe she's a gymnast with superior muscle control."
"She'd have to be in Cirque de Soleil to manage this.

sometimes we hold on to something—a person, a resentment, a regret, an idea of who we are—because we don’t know what to reach for next.

That what you've always had doesn't mean that's what you'll always get. That what you've always wanted isn't what you'll always want

That what you’ve always had doesn’t mean that’s what you’ll always get. That what you’ve always wanted isn’t what you’ll always want.

That what you've always had doesn't mean that's what you'll always get. That what you've wanted isn't what you'll always want.

The combined odors of Cass's subtle aftershave and the disgusting reek of Nic are overpowering. I wonder if Cass will keel over and I'll have to perform CPR. This speculation should not feel so much like a fantasy.

The Man of Steel never rests. Or maybe that's Jose the yard boy. I get my alter egos confused.

what you’ve always had doesn’t mean that’s what you’ll always get. That what you’ve always wanted isn’t what you’ll always want.

When she's worried Vivien gives herself pedicures and facials. Nic lifts weights. I bake. So, Vivien ends up looking more glamourous. Nic gets fitter. And I just get fat.

You can do better than that." He loops his arms around my waist and pulls me to him.

"Where are your gloves?"

"Better than that too." He drops a kiss on my collarbone. "Good to see you, Cass. I dreamed about you, Cass...Feel free to improvise."

"Aren't you supposed to be wearing those work gloves? When you're working? Because otherwise your poor hands won't..."

Gah. I sound like Mom, or the school nurse.

I'm no good at this.

Luckily, Cass is good enough for both of us. "I missed you, Gwen. It's good to see you, Gwen. I dreamed about you, Gwen. Yeah, haven't gotten around to the gloves. More important things to focus on. Want me to tell you what they are?

You need to come with a goddamn YouTube instructional video.